I read yesterday that the MacArthur Foundation is announcing its annual Genius Awards winners and immediately knew that there must be some kind of mistake as I had not been notified and have not yet received my award.
No matter, I thought I would take this occasion to issue the Geller Annual Foundation Friggin’ Genius Awards (Gaffies), which have the unique distinction of not being actual awards that are not in fact awarded by any real foundation.
The Gaffies are intended to recognize “genius” in the PR profession by identifying those who have singlehandedly set back the art of public image crafting a really really long time.
Here are a few examples that quickly come to mind (you can consider this post to be a pre-announcement of the forthcoming official announcement which will make public the pending news of the non awards winners).
The Britney Spears Train Wreck Award
First we heard about her disastrous InStyle Magazine photo shoot, then we got to enjoy the Video Music Awards performance, now we are privy to information from her bodyguard in her ongoing custody battle. Britney stole this from previous winner Tom Cruise and is the gift that keeps on giving for celebrity watchers and Schadenfreudists everywhere.
The Fred Thompson “I Have a Secret” Award
The timing and uncertainty about Fred Thompson’s official announcement regarding his presidential bid reached almost surreal proportions when it occurred to me that I was reading an article most likely driven by a pre-briefing and pre-announcement of the pending news of his long delayed official announcement, which everyone knew he was going to do anyway. Somebody please tell Fred and his staff that official announcements are passe’ and indecision and coyness are not necessarily desirable presidential traits.
The “I am Sock Puppet, Hear Me Roar” Award
Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey introduced mainstreet America to the joys and perils of sock puppetry (
Wikipedia definition). He illustrated how
not to do social media PR when he was outed vainly chatting up blogs and investor message boards about the merits of a proposed merger under an assumed name (I say “vainly” because he also took the opportunity to defend his haircut: “I like Mackey’s haircut. I think he looks cute!” Radoheb, AKA Mackey gushed. How cringe inducing and embarrassing.)
These are just a few, I certainly welcome your ideas and nominations. E.g. does anyone have someone in mind for “Worst Apology?”
