You know the feeling; you’ve written a pretty good press release, or so you thought – but the client or internal sponsor kicks it back to you because it “lacks excitement.”
It can be hard to understand or respond to such subjective criticism. In theory, the excitement of a release should relate to the news at hand. But we know that the same story can be told in different ways.
Reporters and editors prefer facts and neutral writing. The release owner might want to get all hypey. The PR person is caught in the middle.
Assuming that you do have important news to communicate, how do you tell a great story – one that satisfies the release owner, and conveys excitement but doesn’t veer into chest beating? You might want to consider these tips:
Let the facts tell the story
The problem with neutral language is that it is, well, neutral. It does not scream “We have great news!” But here’s a bold concept, why not stick to the actual facts, i.e., use superlatives or hard data?
E.g., if you are first to market with a 10 Tera-flop whatever, by all means say so. Ditto if your new product is the fastest, or you are reporting some breakthrough in the lab.
But don’t use soft, indefensible claims like “best” or “most innovative”.
Let others tell the story
The problem with any kind of claim is that it might lack credibility. So bring in independent testing data to support the claims, and/or market research.
The media would rather hear how important your news is from others, ideally those who are at arm’s length. Why not brief industry analysts, and include a quote from them in your press release? If you are lucky enough to name and quote a customer, by all means do so.
The quote is the one place in the release where you are allowed to go over the top. Here, it is OK for your client and their customer to amp the excitement. Still, you want to avoid clichés and anything that smacks of BS.
Tell a great story
Even if you don’t have lots of firsts, hard data, or independent validation, you should be able to write a press release that tells a great story – one that the release owner loves, hits the mark with customers, and also satisfies the media.
To do so, it should answer the questions: who should care, and why? Talk about benefits and applications of the technology. Explain how the new product or service advances the field in an easy-to-understand way, using language that resonates with the intended audience.
